Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sometimes you gotta get personal. Let's talk about ME!!
Sometimes, it's gotta be all about me. So screw all you people...it's all about ME today!! (I kid, I kid :P Kinda. ;) )
I've been doing a lot of thinking about new year's resolutions and such. Yeah, new year's resolutions are kind of an outdated and stupid concept--we never can seem to keep them, and they don't usually have a lot of thought behind them. They've come to be a cultural platitude perpetuated by magazines and religion. The phrase doesn't mean anything anymore...
So we should change it.
The word "resolution" is a noun--something that is immutable, unchanging and complete. It doesn't move, create, or destroy. It just kinda....sits there.
But what about the verb form, "resolve?"
To resolve to do something means to make a commitment, to take action, and ultimately, to change one's current circumstances. When one is resolved, they aren't sitting on their couch waiting for good fortune to come to them. They're out and doing it, even when it's hard. That's been my biggest struggle over the past year--the going has been extremely tough, and there have been many times when I've surrendered to the depression that comes with economic-recession-induced failure.
People sometimes need to surrender to it for a bit just to get all the drama and irrationality out of their system. This is a good thing!! It's also something I've been getting much better with. The drama kind of comes and goes now, and I hope I can keep this up. The key is not to hang on to it and let it affect the rest of one's mojo. And that's what has brought me down.
On one hand, it's extremely ignorant of people to say things like "Buck up" or "Well, just get out there and change your life!" to people who have experienced several setbacks and still feel depressed about them. This feeling is natural, and needs to be expressed. But on the other hand, we need to move on eventually, and there are many ways to do this.
And this is where my resolve/resolving comes in. I don't want to allow myself to feel more drama and depression than I need to. And there are a few things I have in mind to bring in positivity for the new year.
#1: More yoga!!!!
This year, I've finally been introduced to the joy of yoga, and I don't want to give it up. A very generous soul gave me the opportunity to attend a yoga class she teaches--for the low, low price of FREE (+ community service)!!!!
I'm so thankful this happened to me--it's helping me to get out of the house and move more--which is good, because I need to lose weight. I know keeping a healthy attitude about one's body also helps people lose weight, but I won't lie--I absolutely LOATHE my body. HATE it. I miss my pre-college pre-rent pre-roommate-scuffle pre-WOW pre-family-drama pre-yadda yadda body. It was great. However, so is yoga :P Hopefully the brain-shift will come with more yoga.
#2: More dancing!!!!
I have been slacking off on my booty shaking this year (in more ways than one, but that's another discussion for...never :P ). If it weren't for "Dance de BaCOON!" coming out, I'm not sure I would have learned many dances at all this year. But fear not, my beloved idols--I will not forsake you and your super-fun choreography again!! I think I'll venture into the world of Kpop dances too...though it might kill me. Namely THIS one:
#3: Less Facebook!!!!
Facebook--great way for me to connect with friends, but right now, for me and my life, the shininess stops there. Facebook brings out the scrappy bitch in me, particularly when something stupid happens in politics and I break out the four-letter-words to describe my feelings on the subject. I don't want that anymore. It's caused a lot of my family to think (wrongly so) that I'm nothing but negative, and I'm sick of that. So, no more political posts for me. I like science news better anyway.
The other thing over-use of Facebook has made me realize about myself is that I make too many comparisons between my life and that of others. I have a lot of awesome friends who are out and doing it, politically active, smart and successful, no matter whether they're in college or out. Seeing how awesome they are really makes me feel, well, NOT awesome at all. I don't do many of the things they do, and not nearly as well. But I have other things. Other skills. Hopefully this year, I can use them to my advantage, and learn to stop comparing myself to other people. Cutting back on Facebook time, as silly as it seems, will be good for my soul.
#4: More money!!!!
This year, for me, has been fraught with failed interviews and dead applications. The last job I applied for, I spent hours polishing my resume and working on the perfect cover letter. I even had my mom help me with interview questions...and I STILL didn't get the job. I'd really been hoping for this job--it was in my field, and I'd had an entire summer of flipping burgers and volunteering at SAFE to get the skills I needed. I was qualified, but I still didn't get it.
But I have to keep looking. I have bills to pay, and I don't have the luxury of having a family who can help me when I need it. And I DESPERATELY want to get out of Laramie. It's suffocating me. However, I'm going to have to settle for something, and any way this works out, it will help. I just hope I don't have to go back to flipping burgers again. So, it's night classes and a day job for me (I hope).
#5: No more political blogs!!!!
Pick one: sociopolitical shenanigans and bullshit with a side of high blood pressure, or news and pictures about your favorite Jpop idols. Yeah, that's what I thought :P
I've been a big fan of most of the STFU blogs on Tumblr for quite some time now. There is a lot of utility in knowing about the injustices going on the world, but anymore, there is no room for civility in political discussions, even on the STFU blogs. I'm tired of being pissed off after exiting my reader, and I'm tired of being appalled at how no one, be they "conservative" or "liberal," "progressive," or "tebagfuckwit," "moderate" or just "on the fence," can compromise or get along. I'm tired of rabid Evangelicals spewing their hate, and I'm tired of rabid Dawkins/Hitchinsian atheists spewing their hostility toward all people who have some kind of spiritual belief in their life. I interact with both crowds, so I get my fill of all this BS without reading political blogs.
What would I rather read? Check out my blogroll. There's a lot of tea, jpop and food over there :P
#6: More of all things happy--my idols, my Burn Notice, my music, my cooking, my body back, my friends, my family.
C'mon. Best resolve ever, right? :P