Sunday, August 28, 2011

H!P Singles 2011: Round 3

We're on our third round of singles in H!P for the year, folks. How has everyone in the major groups fared thus far since the last roundup? Well, as far as sales go, pretty dismal and depressing. And for a certain often awesome 5-nin group, it's likely to get worse.

As far as quality goes, well, you be the judge. Or, while you're stuck here, you might as well listen to me deliver my verdict. And I'm bringing the gavel down hard.

#5,000,000 (that's SUPER-last place): C-ute: Sekaiichi HAPPY na Onna no Ko

I loathe just about everything about this single. I thought it would grow on me. I wanted it to so badly. But I've given it about a week and a half, and no such love has softened my cold, cold heart. This single has failed me. FAILED, I SAY!!

This song sounds like an album track that wasn't quite good enough for Chou! Wonderful 6. It's like it tried by be an awesome group song like Chou! Wonderful, but Tsunku wasn't quite happy with it and put it in the discard pile only to pull it out later after some cracked-out dream prophecy told him he should. Lazy bastard.

The outfits looks like a rainbow queefed all over a bunch of bridesmaids while they were passed out drunk in a hotel room sleeping in pools of their own vomit. By the way, the bride must have been a vengeful bitch.

The dance looks like version 1 of the chicken dance. You know, the one where the choreographer had smoked a couple bowls beforehand?

Ugh, well, anyway...

The Ups:

-Though the outfits were ballerina-puketastic, the colors were gorgeous and fun.
-The PV was considerably better than Momoiro Sparkling.

The Downs:

-Everything else. Not even the b-side could save it. The choreography was nothing short of an insult to H!P's best dance group. ARGH! This is the only release from C-ute I have ever wavered on purchasing. No, seriously, this was worse than Shocking 5. I really don't want to lose interest in my favorite group and first luv, but if they do more releases like this, I just might.

#4: Buono!: Natsu Dakara

Now that I've gotten most of the venom out of my system, I can be a little kinder :P I really enjoyed this song and its b-side. Though Buono! is indeed going in a new direction under Zetima, it's not as horrific as many people thought. I personally like their new direction and experimentation, though, sadly, I doubt that we'll see another Renai Rider-quality release from Buono! anytime soon.

The Ups:

-The white outfits
-A PV with (GASP AND ZOMG) an actual set!!!
-Summery love and goodness!
-Momo sounded really great in this song.

The Downs:

-80s-throwback denim outfits.
-Pervs in UFA trying to get Airi in their pants...again.
-Lack of any kind of dance shot. Even some tempo-hugging bum-wiggling would have sufficed, but noooOOOOooo...

#3: Berryz Kobo: Aa, Yo Ga Akeru

I adore this release. I love the airy, fashionable, sexy atmosphere it gives off, I love the beautiful covers....there are very few things I don't love about this. Yes, it is rather typical Berryz fare (circa 2009 on), but it has a certain spark to it that makes it much more interesting than many of their past releases. I am a huge fan.

The Ups:

-Tsunku finally found a song that suits Risako's voice perfectly. THANK THE UNIVERSE!!
-Again: OMG A REAL SET!!
-Coolest instrumental so far this year out of anything H!P has released.

The Downs:

-Risako's weird faces
-Limited B cover...see above
-A syllable is not a line. It will never be a line.

#2: S/mileage: Uchouten LOVE!

This is S/mileage's best release to date. Seriously. This is hands-down their most danceable song ever, and it also illustrates how talented Tsunku really is as a composer and songwriter. He really adores this group, and it shows in this release. I hope his enthusiasm will continue with the new members. Now if only that enthusiasm would spread back to C-ute...

The Ups:

-The outfits were FREAKING CUTE!!
-Special effects were fabulous (for H!P, anyway)
-Yuuka's hair.
-Cute parapara dance manages not to be boring Hinoi Team style.
-Eurobeat love!!!

The Downs:

-Random school uniform shots. Seriously, I am confused.
-Last Sakichy single EVAR WAAAAH!!

#1: Morning Musume: Extremely Long Double A-side Title

Now that the PV previews have hit the intertubes, I think it's safe to say that this pair of singles is the best H!P release this year. Songs are great, PVs are's all great. STONKING GREAT!! Aichan is getting one hell of a send-off with this. It harkens back to the awesome genki days in the early 2000s, and it also marks the beginning of a new era for Momosu, one which I believe will be very successful. My interest in Morning Musume has gone way, way up with this release and also with the promotion of 9th-gen, who are really proving to be a fantastic generation.

The Ups:

-The cracked-out special effects and outfits. I love it.
-More musical effort and enthusiasm from our composer/schemer-in-chief.
-The kyuukies' fairly decent amount of screen time.
-Sayumi lead vocals in Kare to Issho ni Omise ga Shitai. Girl has gotten so much better.

The Downs:

-Aichan's solo didn't really fit her all that well.
-Poor gimpy Aika.

Now I'm eagerly awaiting Mano Erina's next release. I'm starting to really be her fan too.

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