Sunday, March 25, 2012
Today, H!O delivered to me the HOLYCRAPNEWS that Maeda Atsuko, the center and heart of AKB48, is graduating this year. And as much as I had lamented her in a post I did last year for the 30-day idol challenge, I began to have a bit of a change of heart after reading everyone else's opinions on the subject of Lady Acchan's glory. I shit you not (and keep in mind, this really was before I learned she was graduating, honest to bibbles!), I actually started to like her.
Being a fledgling AKB48 fan, I've had barely enough time to get to know some of the girls and become devoted to my goddess of all things idoly, Sayaka. My initial impressions of Acchan are familiar to a lot of AKB fans: bored, distant and a little fake. But getting to know her a little better, I actually found myself relating to this gloomy, beautiful girl. I felt like I saw myself in what we know about her pre-idol fame story. Maeda Atsuko was never instant star material. She was quiet, shy and had a secret smile only seen by those who knew her well. When New School Kaidan did a post which featured the story of the early AKB days,I couldn't help but notice the cautious center girl and her meteoric rise. It stirred something in me, and while she never broke my top 10, she shot far out of the fuzzy zone of blah in my idol fandom.
I actually purchased her newest photobook last week, because it is absolutely beautiful. After looking at the previews, I couldn't help but feel as though it was a side of not just Acchan herself, but of idol femininity that we don't see much. To me, it felt so authentic. Even I, as a former Acchan dissenter, had to buy it. And I'm so glad that I did.
So what will become of the center position now? Even though I have always wanted to see other AKB members in the center outside of janken singles, it will be strange not to see Acchan anymore. Even though I'm not her biggest fan, Acchan is an incredible idol and an amazing person, and I will miss her very much.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
(Oh, the huge manatee!!)
So AKB48 recently made this super-awesome porno, right? It was the schoolgirl-on-girl'enist shwabang since Nurses on Maids on Tentacle Sheep with Butt Plugs 5 (.com)! Around the world, churches, temples and monasteries spontaneously burst into flames when this earth-shattering, sexuality-busting flick hitting the airwaves. Several reports of glowing naked people floating up into the sky have also surfaced.
The minty freshness of this hot lesbo clip is inescapable, but there will be consequences, internet experts say. New estimates have now put the end of the world at Canada Day, 2013, after nuclear power plants and missile silos around the world experience simultaneous meltdowns and Joseph Kony massacres all the impressionable college world-savers headed to serve developing countries. By this point, the boobquaketastic countries of Canada, the US, Australia, France, and Brazil will have already fallen into the sea after the Great War on Christmas, 2012.
Harold Camping, Mahmoud Ahmedinijad and Rick "The Froth" Santorum were all unavailable for comment.
When asked how this fresh Asian sexfest impacted their own, rapidly shortening lives, people were quick to comment, making brilliant and insightful observations:
"...watch high school lesbo act performed by any young girls, with or without talent [IS SUPER HAWT]."
"I think it is cute [AND I WANT TO HUMP ALL THE THINGS]!"
"das pretti gey bruh [BECAUSE SPELLING IS SO UNHAWT, UNLIKE THIS]!!"
Experience the fanservice, fuckbuddies.